Ali Barone

A simple gratitude list can really snap you out of a bad mood.  Take the time to enjoy what you've got today.. it could be gone tomorrow, and so could you.

Self will. I used to think it was a good thing.. The 'will to survive' the 'will to live'  blah blah blah.  But self will is different.  Self will pushes up against the universe. Presses your face so hard against the mess you are in you can't see.  The universe always has your best truth at heart.  It is always trying to guide you in the direction that will give you the best results.  Then... SELF WILL.  Getting in your own way.  Cutting your nose off despite your face, pissing on the picnic and 100 other idioms.  If we can let the universe/God (WHATEVER you want to call it) organize for us we are safe. Good. Exactly where we are supposed to be.  Sometimes it's not the view we expected or the view we wanted but in the long run its the one we need.  It's like the guy at the airport who went to get a cup of coffee and missed his flight on 9/11.  But me...I am a complete baby.  i want I want I want I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.  And when I don't get what I want I keep trying over and over.  One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  I've said it before and I'll say it again... 

nothing changes until something moves.  

Do something different, let the universe give you all the gifts you deserve.  

And I am talking to you as well as myself... you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Life gets hard.  Real hard.  Harder than a space age polymer.  Harder that the head of the inexorable boyfriend.  Hard.  Sometimes all I can do is take a moment sit and meditate on what is being presented to me. Why are these situations in my life?  Am I being tested?  What can I pro actively do to make myself more comfortable, move forward, vibrate higher.  OR.... Am I in the eye of a lesson, I need to sit with my feelings, be in the moment, chew my unease.  There is no blueprint, book, or guru who can tell you what is going to happen.  Believe me I have tried.  I have been to COUNTLESS Psychics, Channels, Mystics.  I've had Rolfing, Reiki, been to Iridologists, Acupuncturists, Chinese doctors, Nutritionists, Spiritual healers.  I've had pranic healing, and laying of the hands..  the search continues.

My point being is sometimes the message is just be.  The universe is taking care of everything.  What is difficult today may have a different light tomorrow.  No matter what happens it is what is supposed to happen.  God's big plan.  There are no mistakes, you can't fuck it up.  The universe is going to get you to where you need to be weather you scream and fight, drag your feet, or surrender and be gently carried.  The big clusterfuck for me is staying out of the results "what's gonna happen?  what if.. what if... what if...   "what if" will either become "what is" or not.  Why worry about it now.  And here is the gold.  All we need to do is be strong, fight hard for what we believe in and let the universe organize around us.  It's all being done for us.  Everything.  Meant to be and not meant to be is the good news.  Both.  I once heard someone say God has only 2 answers to your prayers... "Yes" and "Not now, I have something better in store for you".